Should You Develop a Calloused Mind? 3 Key Questions to Ask Yourself
Callous, according to Dictionary.com, is defined as made hard, hardened; insensitive, indifferent, unsympathetic. I recently finished the book “Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds” by David Goggins and I came across a new term I hadn’t heard before, “calloused mind”. David shares his life experiences and develops this technique to guide himself to push past the expected norms when it came to physical training and endurance. Basically, developing a calloused mind entails doing the task or going through a challenging experience to build resilience and strength. It’s electively putting yourself through situations that require mental toughness. It’s pushing past that breaking point and really giving more than you thought possible. The more you put yourself in these circumstances, the better you’re at in ‘callousing your mind’. But wait…is this even a rational or attainable way to live? Should we all have calloused minds?
As an entrepreneur, there are times where a calloused mind may come into play. It could be helpful to guide you back on track when you experience a setback, or in growing your business in ways of marketing outreach and uncomfortable door to door sales. Or even doing the crappy tasks that no one wants to do but is necessary to get done. In a minor way, you may have already started to form a calloused mind. When you look at the definition of callous and understand how you can develop this mindset, is it really beneficial to you in the end? Here are some questions to consider if you choose to develop a calloused mindset.
Will this mindset help me or hurt me as a person?
Having a calloused mind can be extremely useful when you need to push yourself to accomplish a goal. The more you develop this mindset, the more you can tell yourself that you can persevere through anything. You have the reassurance that you can rely on this calloused mind to work for you. In a way, it’s similar to resilience and grit. In those circumstances, having a calloused mind can be beneficial. It’s on the flip side when you have developed such a calloused mind to the extreme that there is no consideration for your own mental wellness. That you have sacrificed and possibly jeopardized your own mindset and may have thrown out any rationalizations you begin to tell yourself. Could developing this mindset border on the line of being stubborn or pigheaded? I believe that to become a successful entrepreneur, it requires a degree of mental stamina that requires resilience, grit, and some portion of a calloused mind. How much portion of a calloused mind is up to your own decision and what you’re willing to develop.
Does this require more effort and work to develop?
Developing a calloused mind is not easy. Not in the slightest. It takes determination, lots of self-talk, and persistence. When you choose to adopt this mindset, you are also breaking past your old beliefs, patterns, and behaviors to be able to establish new ways of thinking. Essentially, you are re-wiring your brain. We all have a set of well-worn beliefs, patterns and behaviors that we are comfortable with, aka your comfort zone. When we challenge our comfort zone and decide to step out of it, in the interest of personal growth, we come up against the ‘bells and whistles’ that our brain warns us about. It’s warning us that we are outside of our comfort zone, venturing into new and unknown territory. Which is okay, that’s the job of the brain. When we choose to step out of the comfort zone, it takes work to fight back the warning bells and whistles. With consistent and intentional effort, it does get easier each time, which can result in developing a calloused mind.
How will this behavior affect or influence my immediate circle of friends, family, colleagues, and team members?
In the military, this mindset comes by default. The military trains you to develop a calloused mind by putting you into strange and uncomfortable and challenging situations. Situations such as doing 20-mile ruck marches, learning how to cope in a gas chamber, or completing a physically and mentally enduring test. You learn that everyone around you has some form of a calloused mind and you acknowledge this underlying mindset when you’re working with fellow military members. When you try to apply this mindset outside of the military, your immediate circle of influence may not respond appropriately to you. They may think you’re crazy, irrational, lost all common sense, and just PLAIN weird. You can’t expect everyone to have a similar mindset when you choose to develop your own calloused mind. You can show them what it takes and hopefully inspire those around you to develop their own version of a calloused mind.
For example, the other day I was at my daughters’ swim team practice. It was her first day and when the instructor told her to swim 50 meters (something she hadn’t done before), she did it but struggled halfway through swimming. When she completed the 50 meters, she got out of the pool, walked over to where I was sitting and started to cry. She was crying that the swimming was hard and that she wanted to go home. She didn’t want to be there anymore and wanted to quit. Having my own version of a calloused mind (and being a High Performance Coach), I couldn’t teach my daughter that giving up is acceptable. I acknowledged her strength that she swam 50 meters and reassured her that she is a very strong swimmer. I shared with her that when we do the hard things, it only makes us get better. (She wasn’t having any of that. It’s hard to rationalize with a 7 year old!). Our conversation ultimately led her back in the pool and she continued to swim. We have continued to attend swim practice ever since. So the behavior that comes with a calloused mind can and will influence our immediate circle. You’d be amazed what effect you can have on others.
Should you or should you not develop a calloused mind? I feel that it’s essential to develop your own personal version of a calloused mind. It may not be as extremes as David Goggins but you have to find what works for you and constantly challenge it. Seek the opportunities that require you to grow, be uncomfortable, to seek difficult situations and you will be in awe of what you’re truly capable of.
Judy Skilling is a Certified High Performance Coach and a U.S. Navy Veteran. She specializes in working with military veteran entrepreneurs to increase their productivity in life and in business while minimizing distractions. To increase your productivity in your life, sign up for her newsletter at www.judyskilling.com.